Monday, June 8, 2009


So, this morning at our monthly Youth for Christ team meeting Fiona asked Nicole and I to reflect back on the past year in England and what we've done, learned, enjoyed, and what we're doing next year.

I look back at the past year quite frequently, but I never really reflect and I certainly don't get the chance to share about it a lot. I thought I would share with you guys what this year has meant to me.

Let me start of by saying that this has without question been the hardest year of my life so far. I've had so many ups and downs. The Lord has constantly challenged me in so many ways. If I've learned anything at all this year it's been that I need to fully rely on God. He is where I get my strength from. I really struggle with relinquishing control and giving everything to God, but this year I've had to do it. A lot of the time I think that I know best, but God has a perfect plan for my life and why would I want to mess that up by trying to be a control freak? 

The Lord has also taught me that it's okay to be totally transparent with other people and that it's okay to let people in. I have a habit of keeping everything inside and not fully letting people in, which is so stupid on my end. Nicole has been my rock this year. She is such a encouragement to me day in and day out. She challenges me and she calls me out on stuff, which is what I need. I've never really had an accountability partner until this year. It's kind of cool though because our friendship is one of accountability in itself. So, it's not as if we have to work hard to be accountability partners, it just kind of comes naturally. 

I also look back on the person I was when I arrived in England last August. Man oh man, if old Kelsey met the Kelsey I am now I think both would be appalled. I never expected to grow up as much as I have, but I'm so thankful that I have it's what I needed to do. I know I'm not even close to being done with growing up though. I'm so lucky to have parents and a family who are patient with me and love me even when I'm not the best Kelsey I can be. I know they weren't super fond of the person I was last August, but I hope I'm turning into someone that they're proud of and happy to claim as their own. 

When I take time to reflect back on the past year I look at it and I'm happy. Sure it was hard, but it's been such a rewarding year. I know that being here in England is exactly what I was supposed to do. I think England has prepared me for the next chapter of my life. I only have about two and a half weeks left, and it's so odd. I am sad to leave the place that has impacted my life in so many ways, but on the other hand I am so ready to be home and just invest time in my family and friends. June 26 is going to probably going to be one of the most bittersweet days to date in my life. 

I just want to thank all of you for your constant love, support, and prayers. Your prayers have gotten me through this year. I'm so lucky to have so many good people in my life who encourage me all of the time. So, for that I thank all of you.